Ze Goa Trip (Part One)

Neither the Tower of Pisa
Nor the majestic Pyramids of Giza
Caused any regret when I left them behind.
Yet for another night at Baga
And one more beer at Fort Aguada
A thousand times by Carvalho I would gladly be fined.

I have been trying to write this entry ever since I came back from Goa but would just get lost in memories every time I tried to pen down something. So now that the hangover is over, finally, I can tell you about the great granddaddy of all trips.

First and foremost, kudos to Ashish and Mulle for rounding up the usual gang of idiots together, getting them to agree on something and then making the required arrangements. The train journey to Goa wasn't anything special. Mulle's paranthas (nothing can beat his mother's culinary skills) ensured a smooth start and it wasn't long before we were taking each others case, having the occasional cigarette (Gillu and I would go to the toilet and smoke cause we saw a sign which said that there was a Rs. 200 fine for puffing on the train. Later,encouraged by the sight of other smokers on the train we pulled our balls together and enjoyed the cigs standing at the train entrance), playing a few hands of poker and basically chilling out in the new environment. Abhinav managed to sleep throughout the journey though he didn't miss out on much. Malli suffered from a mild attack of the Mulle bug (induction, proximity, exchange of bodily fluids, the cause remains unknown) evident from the fact that he took some photos which were very moving and forced us materialistic bastards to take a moment and think about our lives.

We landed at Thivim and were welcomed by a merciless sun, speeding taxis and a landscape dominated by greenery. The cabs dropped us at Hotel Ocean Star, Calangute Beach which was a very good place to put up at, close to the beach and the market, while not being adjacent to the road. The owner, a charming old lady, gave us the key to our "villa", two rooms, a bathroom, a fridge and a cupboard. She sent over two extra mattresses so that the male bonding in this trip would be kept to a bare minimum.

We got ready and then with smiles on our faces, shades on our eyes and extremely dirty thoughts in our minds went down to the beach. At this point I’d like to take a moment and tell the readers that Goa is a place where there are a lot of hot chicks and when I say hot, I mean super-fucking-nova hot. Baga is teeming with hot bods. A visit to Anjana will convince you that you’re in an engineering student’s dream. The chicks at Kerim made me believe that there really is a god. Unfortunately Calangute is not where you want to be if you’re feeling horny. We were actually thankful that the women there were wearing bikinis and were not displaying their goods to all and sundry. It was as if the entire sexagenarian, septuagenarian and octogenarian population in Europe had decided to come to Goa and hold the world’s biggest sagging tits orgy. Talk about KLPD, that bad. The food though was great, which is pretty much true for most of the shacks/restaurants in Goa. We were introduced to gastronomical wonders such as Chicken Cafreal, Prawn Xacuti, Chicken/Prawn Vindaloo and Jeera Rice. Here the fact that we were in Goa also set in and we all ordered beer. Seriously the amount of money and time we guys spent on getting wasted is not funny and by the end of the trip, beer wasn’t even an alcoholic beverage.

Once the food settled down we went down to the beach and started playing some farzi football which eventually ended up with all of us in the sea, thoroughly drenched and enjoying every second of it. At this point of time the group split up with Gillu and me deciding to grab some more food while the others went ahead to a cliff at the end of the beach. Gillu and I sat at Buddha Bar, ordered a couple of beers and prawn pasta (scrumptious). Now, while walking up to the counter both of us noticed this beautiful chick sitting in a hanging chair in an extremely hot green dress and by the time our food was ready and our beers over, she decided to leave. We decided to go and hang out in the chair and when we got there we saw “Stories of Seduction”, a paperback, on the table. What followed was a brief debate on whether to take the book and then search for this girl and return it to her. The math however wasn’t in tune with our desires and we left the book to enjoy the pasta. Our bellies content, we decided to go back to the room, get ready and then buy some booze. On the way to the local theka we were mistaken for a couple of rich kids by a drug-dealer. Our conversation was something on the lines of:

DD (who doesn’t speak, he whispers): Hey you guys want some E?

Gillu (this is a recording of his mental reaction): Maal marenge, maal mare….What the fuck!? Did he just say E? Moti did you hear what he said? Was there a mention of E?

Moti (again a recording): Bandi thokenge, bandi thoken….What the fuck!? Did he just say E? Gillu did you hear what he said? Was there a mention of E?

Gillu and Moti look at each other, shocked and at a loss for words. Finally they manage something.

M and G (G and M didn’t feel right): Nahi bhaiya, thank you…

After some time while wolfing down some Bhel Puri

G: Yaar, isse weed ke liye pooch sakte hain…

M: Haan yaar, iske paas to banta hai hona chal baat karte hain.

M and G: Bhaiya, aapke paas weed hoga…?

DD (whispering continues): Yes, how much do you want…?

M and G (as if they’re buying vegetables): Aap yeh to batao kitne ka bech rahe ho…?

DD: Rs 600 for something like 30 joints…?

M and G: Nahi bhaiya, too expensive and we don’t need that much…

DD: OK Rs 400 but you’ll get a slightly smaller amount of weed…?

M and G: OK bhaiya batate hain (which means screw you guys ima going home).

We bought the booze (A khamba of Haig and a bottle of Port Wine, both of which were never consumed during the trip, along with a few bottles of beer) and then started off on this ass-whooping trek to the other side of the beach. We collapsed mid-way, cursing and out of breath, though thankfully not out of suttas and waited for the others to arrive which was followed by a very relaxing dinner at, the irony of it, Lover’s Corner Shack. We returned to the hotel, led by Malli (who, due to some reason, ran all the way back to the hotel) and collapsed.