Wednesday, was the day that we'll all remember as "The day mother-fucker Carvalho struck". The morning started off on a bright and sunny note and we were all so happy. We decided spend the day at Panjim and so we took the road to the capital of the state. En route, an idea struck "Why don't we visit Old Goa first... do the churches and shit... and then spend the remainder of our day at Panjim...?" Worst fucking idea of our entire lives. We drove, stopping in between for some coconut water and reached Old-kiss-my-ass-Goa. Being the architectural enthusiasts that we are, we stormed the church-thingys for an overwhelmingly boring time. Roamed around for some time and yawned in the faces of dead for decades douchebags. But yeah the coolest thing about the place was that we met a pimp at the entrance to the church! So we're just about to enter the church, when out of the blue we meet "Rupesss", who shakes our hands and then asks us "You guys like to party? You want to go to some cool night clubs?" We're at a loss for words and just mumble about doing something later when he drops the A-Bomb "You want girlfffs...? Sab milega. College Girlfffs. Russian Girlfffs." And our reaction was "What in fuck's sake is this guy saying?" Intrigued we ask a few questions "Bhaiya kaisa rate hai?" "Rs. 3000 to Rs. 8000" "Bhaiya aap ko aur koi jageh nahi mili... church ke saamne aap pooch rahe ho?" "Bhaiya karna padta hai apna bhi business hai." We left him, but not before Gillu took his number, just in case. This and the nimbu-paani we had just outside the church were probably the best things about Old Goa. Mulle did his best to drive us insane... "One shot of the church from a distance of x meters and an angle of elevation on z degrees. Another shot of the church from a distance of x+1 meters and an angle of elevation of z degrees. Ooh ooh ooh, this will be brilliant, a shot of the church from a distance of x+1 meters but an angle of elevation of z-1 degrees..." is what was going on in his head.
On the drive back Abhinav took the wheel and when we're just about to exit Old-fucking-Goa, we get stopped by the cops. Introducing Mr. Osman Carvalho and his posse of tough, rugged, cock-sucking, donkey-fucking RTO officers. These assholes stop us and demand that Abhinav produce his DL. And would you believe it, he'd just lost his DL the other day. They then ask us for the RC and once again draw blanks, we try to explain to him that the car is a rental and the guy didn't give us a mother-fucking RC. We try everything from the sir-first-and-last-time approach to the sir-aapko-kucch-chahiye-to-batao one and none of them worked. He tells us that he's letting us off lightly because if he wanted he could easily file a stolen vehicle and then trying to flee the state case on us. That shut us up. So he left us in the middle of Old Goa and Panjim, with no car and yeah that's about it. Mulle, Ashish, Malli and Pandu left on the two Activas, while Joshi, Gillu, Abhinav and I had to take a bus to Panjim. We reached tired and extremely hungry and decided to go to Delhi Durbar, a place we'd heard a lot about. And wonders o fucking wonders, it was closed. The four of us scouted for some time and eventually reached "Happy Dayz", a place which had just opened up. Encouraged by the fact that the food and service should be good, we took our seats and were given complimentary drinks, our day just started to look up. We ordered our food and realized something very personal about the Goan people. These guys have no fucking sense of time. Our food which was supposed to at our tables in 20 minutes took about 80 minutes. When the waiter said "Sir ten more minutes" what he meant was more like forty more minutes. So when anybody in Goa says anything about how long something will take, just multiply that figure by four and wait patiently. The food though was scrumptious and we all felt pretty good after we had finished. we called up the others to discover that they were at Miramar beach. Travel tip, if you're going to Goa you can give Miramar a miss and for god's sake do not stay there, fucking expensive. Miramar is just full of Indians so it's kinda boring. The others told us that they were 200m to the left of the lifeguard tower. Now that is a pretty confusing statement if you're in Goa. For one thing, they'll point to the left and say "Take the right" and vice-versa, every-fucking-one does that so after some time you forget which right you're talking about the "Delhi right" or the "Goa right." Another thing is that distance is an undefined concept, much like time, 4kms turns out to be more like 12 kms and, you get the picture. So when we heard 200m-left-lifeguard tower, we just stood and thought for some time. But Abhinav was spot on when he said that we were looking for a solitary figure probably right next to the sea, with a bag and camera and trying to capture god-knows-what. He was right we identified Mulle from quite easily and from some distance.
We left Miramar by late evening, the four of us went down to Panjim for some shopping (cashewnuts) and just idling, while the others went to drop Ashish at his relatives' place. The downtown Panjim group eventually got bored and decided to return to Calangute. So we took a ferry and then a bus to our hotel, talk about utilizing all modes of transportation. The days events had pissed us off real bad and so Abhinav, Gillu and I decided to go out try and rent another car for the night and then head towards Baga. The asking rates were just too high for us, so we eventually got hold of a cabbie and told him to wait while we rushed back, changed into our finest clothes (the least we could do in order to woo members of the opposite gender) and emotionally blackmailed Joshi. Baga is a very cool place to hang out at, if you can try and a get a place over here as it stays open till like 4 in the morning. We were desperate to go to one of the pubs, Mambo's or Tito's. Unfortunately the cover charge at Mambo's was RS. 1200 while Tito's didn't have stag entry. Dejected we roamed around and settled at Kamaki, a bar which got two thumbs up from all of us. Joshi drank with us for the first time. Abhinav fell in love with Carlsberg, six pints, while Joshi, Gillu and I had a shot of Cashewnut Fenny, another of Blender's Pride and then three shots of Old Monk. The bar is frequented by a lot of foreigners and there were some hot chicks. We tried a hookah, grape flavor a first for me. Eventually a firang from one of the adjacent seats came upto us and asked if we had some weed. We said a no and he disappeared into the night. Soon he returned a with a couple of joints, we bought one for a hundred bucks and smoked it. That gave us the kick we needed and after some time we headed down to the beach. There Gillu and I went off to sleep while Abhinav and Joshi ordered some food. We took another cab back to the hotel and reached back tired but drunk and happy.
On the drive back Abhinav took the wheel and when we're just about to exit Old-fucking-Goa, we get stopped by the cops. Introducing Mr. Osman Carvalho and his posse of tough, rugged, cock-sucking, donkey-fucking RTO officers. These assholes stop us and demand that Abhinav produce his DL. And would you believe it, he'd just lost his DL the other day. They then ask us for the RC and once again draw blanks, we try to explain to him that the car is a rental and the guy didn't give us a mother-fucking RC. We try everything from the sir-first-and-last-time approach to the sir-aapko-kucch-chahiye-to-batao one and none of them worked. He tells us that he's letting us off lightly because if he wanted he could easily file a stolen vehicle and then trying to flee the state case on us. That shut us up. So he left us in the middle of Old Goa and Panjim, with no car and yeah that's about it. Mulle, Ashish, Malli and Pandu left on the two Activas, while Joshi, Gillu, Abhinav and I had to take a bus to Panjim. We reached tired and extremely hungry and decided to go to Delhi Durbar, a place we'd heard a lot about. And wonders o fucking wonders, it was closed. The four of us scouted for some time and eventually reached "Happy Dayz", a place which had just opened up. Encouraged by the fact that the food and service should be good, we took our seats and were given complimentary drinks, our day just started to look up. We ordered our food and realized something very personal about the Goan people. These guys have no fucking sense of time. Our food which was supposed to at our tables in 20 minutes took about 80 minutes. When the waiter said "Sir ten more minutes" what he meant was more like forty more minutes. So when anybody in Goa says anything about how long something will take, just multiply that figure by four and wait patiently. The food though was scrumptious and we all felt pretty good after we had finished. we called up the others to discover that they were at Miramar beach. Travel tip, if you're going to Goa you can give Miramar a miss and for god's sake do not stay there, fucking expensive. Miramar is just full of Indians so it's kinda boring. The others told us that they were 200m to the left of the lifeguard tower. Now that is a pretty confusing statement if you're in Goa. For one thing, they'll point to the left and say "Take the right" and vice-versa, every-fucking-one does that so after some time you forget which right you're talking about the "Delhi right" or the "Goa right." Another thing is that distance is an undefined concept, much like time, 4kms turns out to be more like 12 kms and, you get the picture. So when we heard 200m-left-lifeguard tower, we just stood and thought for some time. But Abhinav was spot on when he said that we were looking for a solitary figure probably right next to the sea, with a bag and camera and trying to capture god-knows-what. He was right we identified Mulle from quite easily and from some distance.
We left Miramar by late evening, the four of us went down to Panjim for some shopping (cashewnuts) and just idling, while the others went to drop Ashish at his relatives' place. The downtown Panjim group eventually got bored and decided to return to Calangute. So we took a ferry and then a bus to our hotel, talk about utilizing all modes of transportation. The days events had pissed us off real bad and so Abhinav, Gillu and I decided to go out try and rent another car for the night and then head towards Baga. The asking rates were just too high for us, so we eventually got hold of a cabbie and told him to wait while we rushed back, changed into our finest clothes (the least we could do in order to woo members of the opposite gender) and emotionally blackmailed Joshi. Baga is a very cool place to hang out at, if you can try and a get a place over here as it stays open till like 4 in the morning. We were desperate to go to one of the pubs, Mambo's or Tito's. Unfortunately the cover charge at Mambo's was RS. 1200 while Tito's didn't have stag entry. Dejected we roamed around and settled at Kamaki, a bar which got two thumbs up from all of us. Joshi drank with us for the first time. Abhinav fell in love with Carlsberg, six pints, while Joshi, Gillu and I had a shot of Cashewnut Fenny, another of Blender's Pride and then three shots of Old Monk. The bar is frequented by a lot of foreigners and there were some hot chicks. We tried a hookah, grape flavor a first for me. Eventually a firang from one of the adjacent seats came upto us and asked if we had some weed. We said a no and he disappeared into the night. Soon he returned a with a couple of joints, we bought one for a hundred bucks and smoked it. That gave us the kick we needed and after some time we headed down to the beach. There Gillu and I went off to sleep while Abhinav and Joshi ordered some food. We took another cab back to the hotel and reached back tired but drunk and happy.
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