The best birthday of my life !

I finally realized why people say that no matter what happens, if you've stayed in a hostel you'll never forget that life, whether for good or bad the hostel stays with you.

So it's the sixth of October 2009, the eve of the 21st birthday and I'm out with Samrat, Rohit, Ketan, Abhishek, Kr. Abhishek, Barua, Anshul and Bhaskar, giving this particular batch of hell-spawn a placement and a pre-birthday birthday treat at Bercos. We make complete asses of ourselves at the joint, with Ketan ordering three soups for his dinner and Rohit and I asking the waiter questions like "You've said real strawberries in your dessert do you have an edible version of this dessert with fake strawberries we can eat?" Talk about some deep bullshit. We leave the place, my wallet lighter by a few thousands, stop at Chaurasiya for smoke and these guys force a Benarasi Paan down my throat threatening me with unimaginable torture if I spit that god-forsaken thing out. And then out of the blue I'm drenched in water courtesy Samrat who then pulls out a rubber band ties a pseudo-pigtail on me repeating the afore-mentioned threats if I take it off before midnight. My life flashes before my eyes and I realize that I've been swearing at these guys a lot so maybe, just maybe they might actually live up to their threats, so I leave the pigtail/ponytail on.

We reach the hostel where I bid adieu to my fellow inmates, but not before receiving a vivid description of what will happen to me at midnight. I then while away my time on Facebook and at 11:50 I hear shouts coming from the corridor and I realize that my sands of time are running low. You know what the funniest thing is that just before the actual “celebrations” begin everyone is your best friend, you think you’re the luckiest guy on the face of the earth and then in a flash you’re in a world of hurt. So I open the door and greet the usual gang of idiots Maneet, Atulya, Divya, Sam, Rohit et al. It’s as if I were distributing free food in the hostel. These guys come in give me hugs, the well-wishes and then push me to the first floor where more people wish me. And then all hell breaks loose … I am being thrashed as if I just committed a heinous crime. Some wise guy gets a broom and uses it without being stingy, over the general shouting I hear Abhishek Kumar shouting “Saale, meri placement kab lagegi” and then kicking me driven by whatever emotion he was feeling at that time. I get drenched, thoroughly this time by some over-zealous fool who threw a bucket of water all over me. And then the kicks start hurting and I start screaming for mercy. A couple of guards led by the BCH attendant show up and my friends finally drop me. I get up to catch a glimpse third years looking at me and laughing, when suddenly these guys pull me aside and ask me to cut a cake. I cut it get some of it in my mouth most of it on my face and then see that Rashyap Sahi (also born on the 7th of October) is being led to the scene of the crime. We wish each other and convey our mutual sympathies and I rush upstairs for a bath leaving good ol’ Rashyap to defend himself. I come back from the bath to find something like 8-9 guys in my room who to my delight pull out a cigar which they bought for the occasion. I light it, puff it a little and then pass it around the room. I find my phone see a trillion missed calls and start calling back. Rushil, Sneha, Arijit and the other NSIT guys wish me and laugh at my tale of pain and anguish. Then suddenly Rohit, Divya and Samrat pull me out of the room they take me to the terrace and tell me “Dekh, we haven’t hit you at all so now it’s our turn. Don’t start shouting just 5 kicks from each of us and we’ll let you go.” I agree without hesitation, thinking five is better than twenty-one. Ten minutes later I realize I need to learn the fine art of bargaining. These guys took the meaning of pain to a whole new level and I, on the verge of collapsing, had to beg Divya to stop at three. These three carry me to my room where I lie down for some time and then leave with Saksham and Atulya who have been asking me to come to JCB.

Now, JCB was a wonderful, wonderful surprise! I find Nikhil Mishra, Avinash and Prabhat waiting for me at Nikhil’s room. Atulya gives me a beautiful mug which has photos of him, Kriti and me printed on it and Nikhil hands me a bottle of white wine as my birthday present from all of them. We open the bottle and taste the bubbling gold. It’s something that I’ll never forget, sitting in that chair with a room full of friends, sipping wine and then passing the glass to the person without one. We finish the wine and Nikhil hands me bottles containing vodka and rum which I quickly gulp down. Then we moved to the terrace and I am given the honor of chucking the bottles into the grounds which I do without wasting any time. After lounging for some more time we decide to push off and get some sleep.

The day starts with a lot of pain as I realize that my gluteus maximus hasn’t recovered from the night’s beating. I get ready, have a furious debate on whether to take a cushion with me to class or not and finally push off for the morning lecture leaving the cushion in my room. The morning starts smoothly with a couple of lectures, when I get a call from Gillu calling me to Mech. I skip the remaining lectures and push off to the canteen where I see Gillu, Anish, Kanika, Nitin and Abhinav waiting for me. We order like crazy and are later joined by Atulya, Kriti, Ankit, Prateek, Kanika and Kartik. Then Dikshit sends me to my car saying that something’s wrong with the lock. I find a cool t-shirt on the front seat, a gift from Dikshit and Kanika. I try it on, find the message hilarious and sit down with these guys for a light meal after which we leave for NSIT.

NSIT is the same, relaxing and just care-free. I can roam here in the middle of the night and not be stopped for having a good time. I meet up with the old gang, Vinit, Ashish, Pandu and Mulle. We engage in the classic art of conversation (read bakchodi) and finally when everyone is free split up into two factions and drive off to grab some food. We stop just across High Mirchee, gulp down some delicious chicken momos and see that the other lot is heading towards us attempting to conceal, what turned out to be, a delicious cake. We gain entry into High Mirchee after waiting for some time and then the ordering begins. Drums of Heaven, Tandoori Chicken, Afghani Chicken, Fish Tikka, Long Island Ice Teas and Beer (lots of it)! These guys open up the cake and get the in-house band (brilliant) to sing me the birthday song. And then the food arrives. If our teachers had been there they would have had strokes, the silence for those first ten minutes was just astounding. The focus was the food and drinks nothing else. We stuff ourselves, push off to the hostel and play poker. A power cut interrupts our game but we go out for a stroll in the night and when the power’s back on resume our game. I finally try to get some sleep at Ashish’s room though the mosquitoes don’t let that happen.

Though this blog-entry cum thank-you-note is more than two months late in coming, I would nevertheless like to thank you. Thank you, all of you, those who have been mentioned and those whose presence has been diluted with the passage of time for giving me the one of the best days of life. It’s something that I will never forget. So merci for the best birthday of my life (Homer would say “The best birthday of your life… so far.” but I’ll stick with the former.)